Back on the line

So it's my first day back. The kitchen is insane! Everything is shiny and top of the line. Robot Coupes and Cryovacs. A bank of walk-in's. Tilt skillets and super-mega hot broilers. Really talented Chef's and Sous Chefs.
It's been a long, long, long time. I've been out of the industry proper for some time and last night was reinstatement by fire to a french brigade style kitchen. Meaning tough. It what I want, but make no mistake... it's hard.
I haven't cut myself cooking, well... ever, till last night, not to mention the burns and the fact that I got my trainer so far in to the weeds that chef cursed him out on line. Sounds like a lovely evening, right?
The thing about being the new guy, is that everyone looks at you as though maybe you'll be better than the last new guy, when there's really one universal truth to being the new guy in a kitchen on any station... you're new. You don't know how this kitchen operates or what the plates are. You don't know that they mean cook, when they say blanch. How in the heck would you know where to look for the spice grinder?
It's so hot, and you're on your feet for 7 or 8 hours. You bend, you stoop - you get burned and you get cut. You say "yes chef" and "no chef" to a guy that is going to say really awful things to you... it's just a matter of time; and egos are inflated past the point of sanity cause to be a cook, you have to have swagger.
Why do I love it? Is it because I look so damned good in chefs whites?
Is it because I get to test myself and see what I'm made of in one of the hardest jobs out there?
Or maybe because I love to feed people?
Possibly a little bit of all of them, but mostly because it's what I love to do.